Update on Rick
It has been a long time since I have posted on Rick’s blog. There hasn’t been much to talk about. He has been holding his own pretty much. But the last couple of weeks have brought some changes that are notable.
Saturday, 041908, all 3 grandchildren were here and we spent the day outside. It was my goal to get some things done in the yard. It was a beautiful day and Mara and Emma played very nicely in the back yard together. Jake loved being outside. He walked around exploring everything, trying to keep up with the girls. Rick enjoyed being outside too. He likes to walk around the perimeter of the fence with Kasee, our chocolate lab. This has been a means of exercise for him. This day, though, he got bent over with his torso bent at the waist, parallel to the ground and his steps were short and shuffling and fast. This caused him to be unbalanced and he ended up falling at least once. He didn’t seem to know how to get back up. I had to put my foot in front of his foot and pull him up. After he got started up, he figured out what to do and was able to get his feet under him again. But he went right back to that awkward walking. He kept it up for a while and then I realized that he didn’t know how to stop. So I got a folding chair and helped him sit down on it. He immediately went to sleep, slumping over his knees. After a while I heard the girls shout, “Papa, Papa, Are you alright.” He had fallen out of the chair.
This was all very strange to me.
Sunday, he was better. He walked upright and was socialable with people at church. He seemed to be back to normal the rest of the week.
Friday, I picked him up from the center because we were going to Tamara’s church for their Good Friday service. He was leaning to the left very noticeably. He sat that way as well. I took him to a restaurant to eat before going to church and he didn’t respond well. He leaned to the left in the booth. I ended up having to feed him most of his meal.
I worked out in the yard again on Saturday, 042608. We went to Lowe’s first to get things that I needed. It was very hard to look around because he wouldn’t steer easily. I had to pull him to get him to walk with me. And then when I needed to stop to look at things, he would keep walking. That was very tiring. When we got home I let him sit down in his chair and he slept for the first of my time working outside. When he was outside, he had an accident in his pants. I guess I was too busy working to recognize his cues.
Through all this time, he has been very difficult to direct. When I try to direct him in walking, he pushes back so that I have to push him to get him to go where he needs to go. To get him to sit down is very difficult. It used to be that a light touch on his stomach would do it. But now he just pushes back and won’t bend his knees to sit down. Sometimes I have to get very forceful to get him to sit down at the table to eat or on the toilet. When taking off his jacket or shirt he grabs the sleeve and won’t let go of it. It is like he is afraid that he is dropping it. But the more I try to get it off the stronger he holds onto it.
I am having to learn new techniques for dealing with this kind of behavior. I haven’t learned them too well yet. I still want things to happen when I’m ready to do them. But I need to stop pushing him and try again later. That doesn’t fit into my schedule. So I get frustrated.
This is especially so in the night when he gets up and needs to go to the bathroom. I have gotten used to getting up and helping him sit down and then I go back to bed. But now he is resisting sitting down and I get really frustrated. This morning, early, he was up and I went to help him sit down and he resisted. He got part of the way down and wouldn’t go the rest of the way. He is soooo strong. His legs can keep him from sitting down. Also, he puts his hand out to hold onto the back of the toilet to keep himself from sitting down. I have absolutely no patience in the early hours of the morning. I just want to get back to bed to sleep. So this morning, I did manage to get him to sit down with much pushing. I went back to bed. He didn’t come to bed right away so I looked and he was standing up in front of the toilet, bent completely over at the waist with his hands touching the floor. I got up to help him pull up his pants and they were wet. I don’t know what happened, because he was sitting on the toilet when I left him. The only thing I can figure is he was still in his resistant mode and got back up and then voided.
So I lay in bed wondering how I am going to handle these new behaviors. How am I going to deal with incontinence? I don’t look forward to that. How am I going to deal with him not being able to go up and down the steps? Our house is a split level. There is no access to our house that doesn’t have stairs. The front entrance has the shortest steps, about 5 or 6. Then in the house there are 3 steps up from the living room/kitchen area to the bedroom area and bathrooms. This will pose a problem that I have not figured out yet.
I know Cheryl and Tamara think I should consider assisted living/nursing home for him. I don’t want to have to do that. I know I’m not ready for that at this time. And of course financially it will be tough.
On the brighter side, Rick still remembers people he has known in the past. The other week we went to Tamara’s school for their school musical and met a PA that Rick knew when he was in PA school. Rick really seemed to know who he was. Of course, couldn’t say his name. But he was happy to see him. Rick still tries to make jokes with people and laughs. He still eats pretty well. Sometimes I have to help him finish up his meal.
I’m wondering if background noise affects his response level. Like television, the radio, the grandchildren’s noise. I’m certainly not ready to stop the grandchildren from coming over. He (and I) will just have to deal with it.
Well, thanks for listening. I don’t like to be a complainer. And I’m not really complaining, just relating what is going on. God is my strength. He still has a plan for my life and Rick’s. We are just waiting to see what it is.
Saturday, 041908, all 3 grandchildren were here and we spent the day outside. It was my goal to get some things done in the yard. It was a beautiful day and Mara and Emma played very nicely in the back yard together. Jake loved being outside. He walked around exploring everything, trying to keep up with the girls. Rick enjoyed being outside too. He likes to walk around the perimeter of the fence with Kasee, our chocolate lab. This has been a means of exercise for him. This day, though, he got bent over with his torso bent at the waist, parallel to the ground and his steps were short and shuffling and fast. This caused him to be unbalanced and he ended up falling at least once. He didn’t seem to know how to get back up. I had to put my foot in front of his foot and pull him up. After he got started up, he figured out what to do and was able to get his feet under him again. But he went right back to that awkward walking. He kept it up for a while and then I realized that he didn’t know how to stop. So I got a folding chair and helped him sit down on it. He immediately went to sleep, slumping over his knees. After a while I heard the girls shout, “Papa, Papa, Are you alright.” He had fallen out of the chair.
This was all very strange to me.
Sunday, he was better. He walked upright and was socialable with people at church. He seemed to be back to normal the rest of the week.
Friday, I picked him up from the center because we were going to Tamara’s church for their Good Friday service. He was leaning to the left very noticeably. He sat that way as well. I took him to a restaurant to eat before going to church and he didn’t respond well. He leaned to the left in the booth. I ended up having to feed him most of his meal.
I worked out in the yard again on Saturday, 042608. We went to Lowe’s first to get things that I needed. It was very hard to look around because he wouldn’t steer easily. I had to pull him to get him to walk with me. And then when I needed to stop to look at things, he would keep walking. That was very tiring. When we got home I let him sit down in his chair and he slept for the first of my time working outside. When he was outside, he had an accident in his pants. I guess I was too busy working to recognize his cues.
Through all this time, he has been very difficult to direct. When I try to direct him in walking, he pushes back so that I have to push him to get him to go where he needs to go. To get him to sit down is very difficult. It used to be that a light touch on his stomach would do it. But now he just pushes back and won’t bend his knees to sit down. Sometimes I have to get very forceful to get him to sit down at the table to eat or on the toilet. When taking off his jacket or shirt he grabs the sleeve and won’t let go of it. It is like he is afraid that he is dropping it. But the more I try to get it off the stronger he holds onto it.
I am having to learn new techniques for dealing with this kind of behavior. I haven’t learned them too well yet. I still want things to happen when I’m ready to do them. But I need to stop pushing him and try again later. That doesn’t fit into my schedule. So I get frustrated.
This is especially so in the night when he gets up and needs to go to the bathroom. I have gotten used to getting up and helping him sit down and then I go back to bed. But now he is resisting sitting down and I get really frustrated. This morning, early, he was up and I went to help him sit down and he resisted. He got part of the way down and wouldn’t go the rest of the way. He is soooo strong. His legs can keep him from sitting down. Also, he puts his hand out to hold onto the back of the toilet to keep himself from sitting down. I have absolutely no patience in the early hours of the morning. I just want to get back to bed to sleep. So this morning, I did manage to get him to sit down with much pushing. I went back to bed. He didn’t come to bed right away so I looked and he was standing up in front of the toilet, bent completely over at the waist with his hands touching the floor. I got up to help him pull up his pants and they were wet. I don’t know what happened, because he was sitting on the toilet when I left him. The only thing I can figure is he was still in his resistant mode and got back up and then voided.
So I lay in bed wondering how I am going to handle these new behaviors. How am I going to deal with incontinence? I don’t look forward to that. How am I going to deal with him not being able to go up and down the steps? Our house is a split level. There is no access to our house that doesn’t have stairs. The front entrance has the shortest steps, about 5 or 6. Then in the house there are 3 steps up from the living room/kitchen area to the bedroom area and bathrooms. This will pose a problem that I have not figured out yet.
I know Cheryl and Tamara think I should consider assisted living/nursing home for him. I don’t want to have to do that. I know I’m not ready for that at this time. And of course financially it will be tough.
On the brighter side, Rick still remembers people he has known in the past. The other week we went to Tamara’s school for their school musical and met a PA that Rick knew when he was in PA school. Rick really seemed to know who he was. Of course, couldn’t say his name. But he was happy to see him. Rick still tries to make jokes with people and laughs. He still eats pretty well. Sometimes I have to help him finish up his meal.
I’m wondering if background noise affects his response level. Like television, the radio, the grandchildren’s noise. I’m certainly not ready to stop the grandchildren from coming over. He (and I) will just have to deal with it.
Well, thanks for listening. I don’t like to be a complainer. And I’m not really complaining, just relating what is going on. God is my strength. He still has a plan for my life and Rick’s. We are just waiting to see what it is.
posted by Unknown at 9:00:00 AM
2 Comments:
I was just saying to some people that this seems like a new plateau for Dad. The bending to the side and hunching over is a new development, and, now reading this, I can tell it's not the only new thing. He is getting less able to transition. What took some coaxing before is now requiring that you practically force him to do something.
The reality is, Mom, it's not wrong for you to feel frustrated about this. It's a frustrating situation. And you need your sleep. You need your health. I don't know what any of us will do if we lose you. Since you're the primary care giver, it's important that you take care of yourself.
When the girls and I suggest that it's time to look for an assisted living facility, it's because we're concerned about you. I think sometimes that because of your background in nursing you're much more able to care for needs he has than other non-medical caregivers would be. I'm afraid that you plan to push yourself to the limit, but you don't know and we don't know what that limit is.
Right now, Dad's day consists of breakfast with you, a drive into the adult daycare facility and back, dinner with you, and lots of sleeping. If he lived in a facility, the only thing that would have to change in that schedule is him driving. You could still schedule breakfast and dinner with him, still pick him up for outings like church, school musicals, and family nights. For him, nothing much changes. For you, what changes is the chance to get a good night's sleep.
You keep saying you'll know when the time is right. All I want you to do is consider when it's best for BOTH of you, and not just best based on how much you think you can handle. Don't risk your own health because he needs and wants you to be around.
I love you both!
Tamara
{{{hugs}}} and prayers
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