Last summer Rick mowed the yard all summer long.
It has been about a month since my last entry. Things have been going status quo. Rick has been going to the center daily and most of the time enjoying it. The times that he comes home, "not a happy camper" are when we have been late to pick him up for one reason or another. Then he is rather sullen and agitated. When asked what is wrong he says, "I'm not a happy camper." Then it takes a good 20-30 minutes for him to try to tell us what is bothering him. And then we don't ever really figure it out. It wasn't until the next day at the Alzheimer's support group that I find out that he was agitated because of staying there later than usual. I called to tell the staff that Erin was picking him up when she got off work which is a little over an hour later than Tamara picks him up. They asked me if I wanted them to tell Rick and I said I didn't think it was necessary. But from now on I will have them tell him. This happened again this week. Tamara was away and I asked Erin if she would pick him up. Then she was late leaving work so it was like 1.5 hrs after his normal leave time. I got a call from one of the workers there who asked when he was going to be picked up and I told her it was going to be later. She said she would tell Rick. When he got home he said the had had a good day, but Paige really frustrated him. I asked him what he meant and he said she was rather pushy. I think she was just trying to help him relax until Erin got there and he felt she was being pushy. Anyway, I am trying not to let that happen very often.
Last Thursday Augie and Shirley Lupino, good friends of Rick's since before I knew him, their daughter, Toni, and her husband, Kris, and 2 daughters, Joanna and Jennifer, came to visit us for the evening. This was something that Rick looked forward to . He told the people at the center that day that they were coming. I don't think he made it clear that they were coming to our house. I think they thought he was saying they were coming to the center.
We really had a nice visit with them. It was so good to see them again and to renew aquaintances with Toni and her family. We had a very enjoyable evening.
The next morning at the breakfast table Rick said, "That was a wonderful time last night!" Then he again told them at the center about the visit and actually mentioned Augie and Shirley by name. At the support group Friday, the staff leaders told me. The visit really made an impression on him. Thanks Augie & Shirley, Toni & Kris, Joanna & Jennifer for coming.
Today was a very beautiful day. The temperature was in the low 70's. The sky was very blue and it was a lovely day to work outside. So I decided to mow the back yard. Jeremy had mowed the front yard earlier in the week. So I had gotten the lawn mower out and had mowed a good portion of the lawn when I needed to empty the grass catcher. I had Rick help me with getting the trash bags full of grass out of the grass catcher and then got back on the mower to start it again and begin mowing. Rick stepped in front of me and said, "Are you going to hog this all day?" I said yes. He said he wanted to mow. I told him he couldn't, that he didn't know how to operate it anymore. He said, "Joyce! That isn't true!" I reminded him that I had let him try it last week and he couldn't figure it out. He said that he had operated equipment more difficult than that many times before. Then I had to remind him that the doctor had said he should not be operating any dangerous equipment and the lawn mower qualified as dangerous. He was not a happy camper. (He didn't say that this time, but I could tell he wasn't.) He just stood there staring at me. He siad, "I guess I'm just all washed up." I suggested that he rake the front yard. The magnolia tree drops leaves all the time. I helped him find the rake and he seemed content to do that. Then I was able to continue mowing. Well that set the stage for the rest of the afternoon. We worked hard, I swept out the garage and moved things around so that we could get the lawn mower in there plus a second car. We picked up the piles of leaves Rick had raked. I felt we had accomplished a lot.
I said to Rick, "What a beautiful yard we have." He said sullenly, "I thought we used to." That is when I realized he was depressed. I tried to get him to see the beauty around us, but he wasn't ready to look. I suggested we go rest on our nice screened in porch. He came with me but didn't want to be happy. I went in and made us strawberry splits. He didn't want to eat it. So I tried to get him to talk. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "You know what is wrong." I said, "But you need to talk about it." So he said, "I want my wife back." I said, "I'm right here." He said, "I know. I want..." I said, "I'm right here doing my best to take good care of you." He said, "You can tell everyone that I'm all washed up." I reminded him about what a good job he did raking the front yard and that if he had not done it I would have had to. And I'm not sure that I would have gotten it done. Then I reminded him that people love to have him pray for them. That God has a plan for him (Jer 29:11) and that He is "working all things together for good," (Rm 8:28) for him. I reminded him that "This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad it it." And that He has made it with Rick in mind. That the joy of the Lord is our strength. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. And then we sang, "The joy of the Lord is my strenght" and "His eye is on the sparrow." He brightened up a little bit, enough to start eating his ice cream. Then I listened to the message on my cell and it was from his sister, Bev. So I called her back. Rick said, "Good, I was just thinking about her." Talking to her seemed to brighten him up, too.
Then the rest of the afternoon seemed to go as normal.
It is so hard when he realizes that he can't do the things he used to do, when he realizes he can't say what he what he wants to say. I know it is hard on him and I feel so bad for him.
Last Thursday Augie and Shirley Lupino, good friends of Rick's since before I knew him, their daughter, Toni, and her husband, Kris, and 2 daughters, Joanna and Jennifer, came to visit us for the evening. This was something that Rick looked forward to . He told the people at the center that day that they were coming. I don't think he made it clear that they were coming to our house. I think they thought he was saying they were coming to the center.
We really had a nice visit with them. It was so good to see them again and to renew aquaintances with Toni and her family. We had a very enjoyable evening.
The next morning at the breakfast table Rick said, "That was a wonderful time last night!" Then he again told them at the center about the visit and actually mentioned Augie and Shirley by name. At the support group Friday, the staff leaders told me. The visit really made an impression on him. Thanks Augie & Shirley, Toni & Kris, Joanna & Jennifer for coming.
Today was a very beautiful day. The temperature was in the low 70's. The sky was very blue and it was a lovely day to work outside. So I decided to mow the back yard. Jeremy had mowed the front yard earlier in the week. So I had gotten the lawn mower out and had mowed a good portion of the lawn when I needed to empty the grass catcher. I had Rick help me with getting the trash bags full of grass out of the grass catcher and then got back on the mower to start it again and begin mowing. Rick stepped in front of me and said, "Are you going to hog this all day?" I said yes. He said he wanted to mow. I told him he couldn't, that he didn't know how to operate it anymore. He said, "Joyce! That isn't true!" I reminded him that I had let him try it last week and he couldn't figure it out. He said that he had operated equipment more difficult than that many times before. Then I had to remind him that the doctor had said he should not be operating any dangerous equipment and the lawn mower qualified as dangerous. He was not a happy camper. (He didn't say that this time, but I could tell he wasn't.) He just stood there staring at me. He siad, "I guess I'm just all washed up." I suggested that he rake the front yard. The magnolia tree drops leaves all the time. I helped him find the rake and he seemed content to do that. Then I was able to continue mowing. Well that set the stage for the rest of the afternoon. We worked hard, I swept out the garage and moved things around so that we could get the lawn mower in there plus a second car. We picked up the piles of leaves Rick had raked. I felt we had accomplished a lot.
I said to Rick, "What a beautiful yard we have." He said sullenly, "I thought we used to." That is when I realized he was depressed. I tried to get him to see the beauty around us, but he wasn't ready to look. I suggested we go rest on our nice screened in porch. He came with me but didn't want to be happy. I went in and made us strawberry splits. He didn't want to eat it. So I tried to get him to talk. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "You know what is wrong." I said, "But you need to talk about it." So he said, "I want my wife back." I said, "I'm right here." He said, "I know. I want..." I said, "I'm right here doing my best to take good care of you." He said, "You can tell everyone that I'm all washed up." I reminded him about what a good job he did raking the front yard and that if he had not done it I would have had to. And I'm not sure that I would have gotten it done. Then I reminded him that people love to have him pray for them. That God has a plan for him (Jer 29:11) and that He is "working all things together for good," (Rm 8:28) for him. I reminded him that "This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad it it." And that He has made it with Rick in mind. That the joy of the Lord is our strength. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. And then we sang, "The joy of the Lord is my strenght" and "His eye is on the sparrow." He brightened up a little bit, enough to start eating his ice cream. Then I listened to the message on my cell and it was from his sister, Bev. So I called her back. Rick said, "Good, I was just thinking about her." Talking to her seemed to brighten him up, too.
Then the rest of the afternoon seemed to go as normal.
It is so hard when he realizes that he can't do the things he used to do, when he realizes he can't say what he what he wants to say. I know it is hard on him and I feel so bad for him.
posted by Unknown at 9:26:00 PM
1 Comments:
*sigh*
Me, too.
:-(
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