Joyce: January 19, 2006
Today was meltdown day. I’m not sure what set Rick off this morning. At breakfast he seemed just fine. Then I turned the TV on to the Hallmark channel for him to watch while I was working. The Walton’s was on.
When it was time to go, I was helping him get his coat on and I could tell he was pensive. I asked him if he was nervous or uptight and he said no. But I gave him a Xanax anyway. We were on our way to sign POA papers and then to an appt with Dr. Pearce, Neurologist.
We had tried to get the POA papers done last night but there wasn’t a Notary available at the bank. So we went back today. On the way, Rick became very teary and asked me what was planned for him today. I again explained our plan. I could tell that he wasn’t hearing what I was saying. The closer to the bank the more upset he became. When we got there, I parked the car and tried to calm him down. We quoted scripture, but it seemed to go in one ear and out the next. I asked him if he thought he could sign his name. He said yes. I explained to him that the papers were to allow Cheryl to handle our finances. I asked him again if he thought he could sign his name. He again said yes. So we went in to try.
The notary was working the drive thru window. I had to ask her if we could go into a private room. She willing complied. She asked Rick how he was this morning and Rick said, “This is not a good day.” When it was time for Rick to sign he had a very hard time. He couldn’t hold his hand still, it was shaking so badly. He tried to steady it with his left hand. He would get thru “Fred” and then stop and have to go back over it in his mind several times before he could go on. After several of these attempts he was finally able to complete his signature. It doesn’t look anything like his former fancy signature.
With that done, we headed for Mocksville to see Dr. Pearce. He was teary and crying all the way. I tried singing, hoping he would sing with me, but he wouldn’t. Tried to get him to talk about it, but he wouldn’t, or couldn’t.
I called Cade to see if we could enter at the back door instead of going in the waiting room. I didn’t think Rick’s old patients needed to see him in this state. While talking to Cade, Rick threw up his hands as if in despair. I felt he was thinking, “I knew this was going to happen.” Later on he said, “I didn’t think it would ever come to this.” Of course, when I asked him what he meant, he couldn’t tell me, or wouldn’t.
When Dr. Pearce saw Rick, apparently Rick told him that he thought I was going to leave him. Dr. Pearce was able to calm Rick down and when we left there Rick said, “I feel chipper.”
We then went to see an old patient of our, Cynthia English, who was in Davie County Hospital. We had a good lunch with her. Rick didn’t do much talking but occasionally cracked a joke. (He was always joking with her when he was treating her.)
This afternoon I had to do a training so I took Rick over to Cheryl’s to stay while I was gone. She reported that she had a good talk with Rick. He told her that he had thought that I was going to leave him. Of course she assured he that wasn’t the case. He said he was awful glad for Kasee (our dog) because she was the only one who would listen to him. Cheryl told him that she was always available and that Tamara and Erin were available, and that I was available.
We went to Tamara’s tonight for a Pampered Chef party. While riding there I asked him if he thought I wouldn’t listen to him. He said this morning “I didn’t know who my allies were. Then I asked if he thought I was not his ally. He said he wasn’t sure this morning. I asked if he felt I was going to leave him. He said, “I never really thought you would.” Then I explained that I loved him and was doing my best to take the very best care of him. He said, “I know you are.”
We had a very nice evening at Tamara’s and on the way home Rick said, “I think that function went very well.”
He went to bed when we got home and slept all night.
Footnote:
I called Dr. Pearce after we got home to get his take on Rick’s condition. He said he felt that Rick was more withdrawn than last visit and his ability to tell dates is down. He said that in some areas he was more progressed but he has a lot going for him. I asked him if he thought he needed some kind of medicine to help him with these teary spells. He said he could put him on Lexapro which he said was the best in the way of antidepressants. But he didn’t feel Rick really needed it at this time. He said he is eating well and sleeping well. These are two major signs of depression that Rick doesn’t have. So at this time we are not going to treat for depression.
When it was time to go, I was helping him get his coat on and I could tell he was pensive. I asked him if he was nervous or uptight and he said no. But I gave him a Xanax anyway. We were on our way to sign POA papers and then to an appt with Dr. Pearce, Neurologist.
We had tried to get the POA papers done last night but there wasn’t a Notary available at the bank. So we went back today. On the way, Rick became very teary and asked me what was planned for him today. I again explained our plan. I could tell that he wasn’t hearing what I was saying. The closer to the bank the more upset he became. When we got there, I parked the car and tried to calm him down. We quoted scripture, but it seemed to go in one ear and out the next. I asked him if he thought he could sign his name. He said yes. I explained to him that the papers were to allow Cheryl to handle our finances. I asked him again if he thought he could sign his name. He again said yes. So we went in to try.
The notary was working the drive thru window. I had to ask her if we could go into a private room. She willing complied. She asked Rick how he was this morning and Rick said, “This is not a good day.” When it was time for Rick to sign he had a very hard time. He couldn’t hold his hand still, it was shaking so badly. He tried to steady it with his left hand. He would get thru “Fred” and then stop and have to go back over it in his mind several times before he could go on. After several of these attempts he was finally able to complete his signature. It doesn’t look anything like his former fancy signature.
With that done, we headed for Mocksville to see Dr. Pearce. He was teary and crying all the way. I tried singing, hoping he would sing with me, but he wouldn’t. Tried to get him to talk about it, but he wouldn’t, or couldn’t.
I called Cade to see if we could enter at the back door instead of going in the waiting room. I didn’t think Rick’s old patients needed to see him in this state. While talking to Cade, Rick threw up his hands as if in despair. I felt he was thinking, “I knew this was going to happen.” Later on he said, “I didn’t think it would ever come to this.” Of course, when I asked him what he meant, he couldn’t tell me, or wouldn’t.
When Dr. Pearce saw Rick, apparently Rick told him that he thought I was going to leave him. Dr. Pearce was able to calm Rick down and when we left there Rick said, “I feel chipper.”
We then went to see an old patient of our, Cynthia English, who was in Davie County Hospital. We had a good lunch with her. Rick didn’t do much talking but occasionally cracked a joke. (He was always joking with her when he was treating her.)
This afternoon I had to do a training so I took Rick over to Cheryl’s to stay while I was gone. She reported that she had a good talk with Rick. He told her that he had thought that I was going to leave him. Of course she assured he that wasn’t the case. He said he was awful glad for Kasee (our dog) because she was the only one who would listen to him. Cheryl told him that she was always available and that Tamara and Erin were available, and that I was available.
We went to Tamara’s tonight for a Pampered Chef party. While riding there I asked him if he thought I wouldn’t listen to him. He said this morning “I didn’t know who my allies were. Then I asked if he thought I was not his ally. He said he wasn’t sure this morning. I asked if he felt I was going to leave him. He said, “I never really thought you would.” Then I explained that I loved him and was doing my best to take the very best care of him. He said, “I know you are.”
We had a very nice evening at Tamara’s and on the way home Rick said, “I think that function went very well.”
He went to bed when we got home and slept all night.
Footnote:
I called Dr. Pearce after we got home to get his take on Rick’s condition. He said he felt that Rick was more withdrawn than last visit and his ability to tell dates is down. He said that in some areas he was more progressed but he has a lot going for him. I asked him if he thought he needed some kind of medicine to help him with these teary spells. He said he could put him on Lexapro which he said was the best in the way of antidepressants. But he didn’t feel Rick really needed it at this time. He said he is eating well and sleeping well. These are two major signs of depression that Rick doesn’t have. So at this time we are not going to treat for depression.
posted by Tamara at 11:42:00 AM
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