Sunday, first sight of the ocean in 2 years. 

Erin basking in the sun. 

The people just down from our site had dug up 3 huge piles of wet sand. Here they are making cars out of them. They sprayed the cars will colored water. It took them most of the day to complete this project. It was very interesting to watch them.  

Our umbrella site. Rick and Erin.  

Rick under the umbrella, in the shade. 

Our bathing beauty! 

Once while we were sitting enjoying the sun and the beach, Rick decided to get up and walk away. I asked him where he was going and he said, "Down to the water." I decided to see what he would do. I followed him at a distance. He did not go all the way to the surf. 

He just walked in the water here a little bit. When he started back for our umbrella, he headed to the right of where we were. I could tell he didn't know where to go, so I called him and showed him where we were.  

Rick and Erin enjoying the sun. 

This turtle was supposed to be a car. We watched them start the car. They had the outline of the doors, windows and tires. I'm not sure what happened. The next time we looked it was just a pile of sand. Then they finally made a turtle. 

Finished product of the cars. 

I asked Rick to take a picture of me. He hasn't learned the concept of a digital camera. He thinks he has to wait for just the right moment to take the picture. So it takes him a long time to take the picture and then he only takes one.  

Rick finally got the picture of our umbrella site. 

Myrtle Beach

We just came back from Myrtle Beach. We went down Sunday and came back today. It was a very good time. This was a test to see how Rick would do away from home. On the whole, he did fine.

We stayed in a 2 bedroom unit at Shore Crest, a Bluegreen Resort. Erin stayed in the second bedroom. The master bedroom had a garden tub, shower and a small room for the toilet. Rick had a little trouble finding his way around the apartment. I had to help him find the bathroom each time.

Rick was content while Erin was with us. We walked up and down the beach 3 times. Once on Sunday afternoon and twice on Monday. I felt like I had to hold his hand to keep him up with us. He wanted to lag behind. He seemed to tire easily. He slept a lot while sitting in the chair under the umbrella. But he does that at home too. When ever he sits down he sleeps.

We went out into the ocean a couple of times Monday. He was very nervous about going in. The waves seemed to make him loose his balance. When he gets nervous he trembles and startles easily. So that is what he seemed to do in the ocean. I had to pull him out past the breakers. After we got out there, he did ok. He swam a little bit but ended up on his back doing the back stroke. I tried to get him to jump over the waves. He couldn't get that concept down. We were holding hands and I would say, "One, two, three, jump." He would say, "OK" but wouldn't jump. He would raise his hands with me while I jumped but he wouldn't jump. One time he did jump with the wave on his own. But couldn't grasp the concept when I was telling him to jump. Once he dove into the wave when I was asking him to jump it. :o) :o) I felt like I needed to be on the lookout for him all the time. I was afraid the wave would knock him down and he wouldn't know how to get himself back up. One time he did get knocked down. Erin and I rushed to him and helped him get up. He didn't seem scared. We didn't stay out too long either time. The second time he stepped on something on the ocean floor. That really scared him. He was trying to reach down to pick it up. His face was filled with terror. We took him in right away. I'm not sure what it was he stepped on. It didn't seem to hurt him.

Erin had to go home Monday night. So Rick and I were alone that night and Tuesday morning. We took the umbrella and chairs down to the beach about 9 am. Went back up to the front desk and asked to have an extension for check out. They gave us until 12 noon. That allowed us to have a nice morning at the beach. We went for a walk up the beach again for about 1/2 hour and then came back to sit in the sun. Well, I sat in the sun. Rick sat under the umbrella, in the shade. I asked him to take a picture of me. He did. Then I asked him to take a picture of the umbrella. He stepped back and then turned the camera away from the umbrella toward a teenage girl who had just stepped behind the next umbrella to have her picture taken by her friend. I'm not sure what Rick was thinking. I'm not even sure if he saw the girl he was pointing the camera at. I called his attention away and he then completed the picture I asked him to take. I will include these pictures in this blog.

Then he sat down again and said, "I think we have done a very good thing." I didn't know what thing he was talking about. I just said, "I'm glad we've done a good thing." and left it at that. Then I noticed that he was crying. I asked him what was the matter. "I heard that they were going to commission people." I asked him, "Commission them for what?" He didn't answer, so I offered, "Commission them to the mission field?" He said, "Yes." I said, "That's a good thing. Why are you crying?" He couldn't seem to answer me. I didn't know what to say or do. I did say, "This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." plus a few other scriptures like that. He seemed to calm down for awhile. Then I noticed him crying again and saying, "Thank you Jesus. You made it happen." I asked him again why he was crying. He said, "These are tears of joy." Then he seemed to alternate from crying to laughing, while praising the Lord. So I just let him alone. When it was time to pick up the umbrella and pack it he seemed to have forgotten about all of this.

We loaded the things in the car and then went back to take a dip in the pool to get the salt and sand off of us before traveling back to Kernersville. We swam the length of the pool. Rick did a side stroke and was very winded. We rested a little bit and then swam back. Then we sat in the sun to dry a little. The resort had an ice cream social at 1 pm for the guests. It was $2 each. So we went to that before we left to come home. After eating, we went to the bathroom before going to the car. I showed Rick the men's room and I went into the ladies. I heard him come out of his and I was worried what he would do if I wasn't out there. When I got out, he wasn't there. I went back into the room where the ice cream social was and there he was. The lady that was doing the ice cream said he said, "I don't know how to find my wife." He was glad to see me.

We left to come home then. We got home about 6:00 pm. It was a good trip. He slept much of the way again. The last little bit he got very nervous. His legs were shaking pretty hard. Apparently he, again, thought I was going to leave him somewhere. I encouraged him with the fact that he is my husband and I am his wife and that is forever. That I was not going to leave him anywhere. That we are going to live together in our wonderful house that God has provided for us. After awhile he calmed down again. Somehow I just need to get his mind off these things that seem to come to him. That takes time and energy.

Well, we did have a great time at the beach. I am very thankful that we were able to go. We hope to do it again this summer.

Last summer Rick mowed the yard all summer long.

It has been about a month since my last entry. Things have been going status quo. Rick has been going to the center daily and most of the time enjoying it. The times that he comes home, "not a happy camper" are when we have been late to pick him up for one reason or another. Then he is rather sullen and agitated. When asked what is wrong he says, "I'm not a happy camper." Then it takes a good 20-30 minutes for him to try to tell us what is bothering him. And then we don't ever really figure it out. It wasn't until the next day at the Alzheimer's support group that I find out that he was agitated because of staying there later than usual. I called to tell the staff that Erin was picking him up when she got off work which is a little over an hour later than Tamara picks him up. They asked me if I wanted them to tell Rick and I said I didn't think it was necessary. But from now on I will have them tell him. This happened again this week. Tamara was away and I asked Erin if she would pick him up. Then she was late leaving work so it was like 1.5 hrs after his normal leave time. I got a call from one of the workers there who asked when he was going to be picked up and I told her it was going to be later. She said she would tell Rick. When he got home he said the had had a good day, but Paige really frustrated him. I asked him what he meant and he said she was rather pushy. I think she was just trying to help him relax until Erin got there and he felt she was being pushy. Anyway, I am trying not to let that happen very often.

Last Thursday Augie and Shirley Lupino, good friends of Rick's since before I knew him, their daughter, Toni, and her husband, Kris, and 2 daughters, Joanna and Jennifer, came to visit us for the evening. This was something that Rick looked forward to . He told the people at the center that day that they were coming. I don't think he made it clear that they were coming to our house. I think they thought he was saying they were coming to the center.

We really had a nice visit with them. It was so good to see them again and to renew aquaintances with Toni and her family. We had a very enjoyable evening.

The next morning at the breakfast table Rick said, "That was a wonderful time last night!" Then he again told them at the center about the visit and actually mentioned Augie and Shirley by name. At the support group Friday, the staff leaders told me. The visit really made an impression on him. Thanks Augie & Shirley, Toni & Kris, Joanna & Jennifer for coming.

Today was a very beautiful day. The temperature was in the low 70's. The sky was very blue and it was a lovely day to work outside. So I decided to mow the back yard. Jeremy had mowed the front yard earlier in the week. So I had gotten the lawn mower out and had mowed a good portion of the lawn when I needed to empty the grass catcher. I had Rick help me with getting the trash bags full of grass out of the grass catcher and then got back on the mower to start it again and begin mowing. Rick stepped in front of me and said, "Are you going to hog this all day?" I said yes. He said he wanted to mow. I told him he couldn't, that he didn't know how to operate it anymore. He said, "Joyce! That isn't true!" I reminded him that I had let him try it last week and he couldn't figure it out. He said that he had operated equipment more difficult than that many times before. Then I had to remind him that the doctor had said he should not be operating any dangerous equipment and the lawn mower qualified as dangerous. He was not a happy camper. (He didn't say that this time, but I could tell he wasn't.) He just stood there staring at me. He siad, "I guess I'm just all washed up." I suggested that he rake the front yard. The magnolia tree drops leaves all the time. I helped him find the rake and he seemed content to do that. Then I was able to continue mowing. Well that set the stage for the rest of the afternoon. We worked hard, I swept out the garage and moved things around so that we could get the lawn mower in there plus a second car. We picked up the piles of leaves Rick had raked. I felt we had accomplished a lot.

I said to Rick, "What a beautiful yard we have." He said sullenly, "I thought we used to." That is when I realized he was depressed. I tried to get him to see the beauty around us, but he wasn't ready to look. I suggested we go rest on our nice screened in porch. He came with me but didn't want to be happy. I went in and made us strawberry splits. He didn't want to eat it. So I tried to get him to talk. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "You know what is wrong." I said, "But you need to talk about it." So he said, "I want my wife back." I said, "I'm right here." He said, "I know. I want..." I said, "I'm right here doing my best to take good care of you." He said, "You can tell everyone that I'm all washed up." I reminded him about what a good job he did raking the front yard and that if he had not done it I would have had to. And I'm not sure that I would have gotten it done. Then I reminded him that people love to have him pray for them. That God has a plan for him (Jer 29:11) and that He is "working all things together for good," (Rm 8:28) for him. I reminded him that "This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad it it." And that He has made it with Rick in mind. That the joy of the Lord is our strength. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. And then we sang, "The joy of the Lord is my strenght" and "His eye is on the sparrow." He brightened up a little bit, enough to start eating his ice cream. Then I listened to the message on my cell and it was from his sister, Bev. So I called her back. Rick said, "Good, I was just thinking about her." Talking to her seemed to brighten him up, too.

Then the rest of the afternoon seemed to go as normal.

It is so hard when he realizes that he can't do the things he used to do, when he realizes he can't say what he what he wants to say. I know it is hard on him and I feel so bad for him.