Conversation with Cheryl about "On Moving to Kernersville"

Cheryl: So when you say Dad was thinking a little more positively, what do you mean? Was he ok with moving again or just not thinking about divorce?
Joyce: I think he is ok with the move. But he is never going to like it.
Cheryl: I think it's just going to have to happen and he'll get used to it over time. Of course, it's going to have to happen when he is ok with it and not totally opposed to it.
Joyce: I think he just constantly needs reinforcement of the positive
Cheryl: Yep. I also think part of the problem is thinking about everything that you are wanting to sell or get rid of. We've got to be careful how we talk about things like that. I was afraid of the way you were talking about it with him the other night at our house and how he was responding to it.
Joyce: Well, I asked him about our two dining room sets this morning. I guess that is what started the whole conversation. Of course, he couldn't even figure out which one is his grandmother's. I had to remind him.
Cheryl: That figures.

Conversation with Tamara about "On Moving to Kernersville"

Tamara: Wow, Mom...I'm sorry he said those things to you.
Joyce: That's ok. I need to get him to talk. I can't get him to tell me his feelings. And when I did this is the way they came out.
Tamara: But I do believe this is the first of a long line of things to come in which you are going to have to make decisions for him--he can't be "in charge" anymore.
Joyce: I believe that he is being healed and that it will be manifested in the flesh in God's timing.
Tamara: I understand that-- I believe that in the meantime, while we wait for the manifestation of that healing--you need to understand the disease and what it will do to Dad. And you need to be able to be proactive towards that--and part of that is being in a place that's easier to take care of and where you're close to family who can help you take care of dad.
Joyce: That is what I told dad today.
Tamara: Really? How did you say it?
Joyce: I told him that you girls want us to move closer so that you can help us more easily as we need it. That in the normal course of the disease there would be more and more need for assistance. And even though we are claiming his healing you girls want us to plan for the future that might be there.
Tamara: Which is why I don't understand why he would have said anything about divorce--what does he think? That he could make it on his own? He's lost without you, and he would do well to be aware of that and thank God for you every day. Not make you feel as though you're the burden to him.
Joyce: I know that that is part of the disease. He feels attacked and so he strikes back.
Tamara: Well, I agree.
Joyce: Daddy was very apologetic at the end of our conversation
Tamara: That's good. I'm glad he was.
Tamara: I think that God allows testing in our lives, and uses it as a chance to teach us a lesson.
Tamara: I'm sure Faith is a big enough lesson in and of itself.

On Moving to Kernersville

Rick is still not completely happy about moving. I think that probably he won't ever be completely happy. But it is hard for him to make decisions. We had a long talk today at the breakfast table. He was very pensive about it all and didn't really know how to let me know what he was feeling. I had to pull it out of him. Then he told me that he had a wife that was very pushy and controlling wanting her own way. He asked me what I wanted and when I told him I wanted to move and asked him what he wanted, he said he would stay here (Advance, NC). I said we couldn't do that. We had to stay together. Then he asked me if divorce was in the question and I asked him what he meant by that. I, of course, said no. He said it was a joke but I told him it was a hurtful joke since divorce has never been in our vocabulary since the get go. Then we talked and I was able to get him calmed down and thinking a little more positively. Like I said, I don’t think he will ever be excited about moving.