Where I spent my afternoon

My mother, Cheryl, and I visited Kerner Ridge today. They have a nice memory neighborhood with up to 14 beds, but currently at capacity with 12 because of two single occupancies. Most of the residents are women, as are most of those on the waiting list. Dad would be the second man on the list, with first preference given to a gentleman already living at the facility, but not yet in the memory neighborhood.

We don't plan to compare places, since having Dad close to home is a priority and this place was nicer than we'd hoped for. (Of course, it's also more expensive than we'd hoped for.) There is a nice, restaurant-style dining room and adjoining day-room for community TV watching, lounging, and such. The thing that impressed me the most was an outdoor area with a short, but pretty, walking path and several seating arrangements. Dad likes to take walks, so we anticipate him enjoying this feature.

One perk is that this facility is right across the street from my parents' church, which they've been attending for the past 30-something years. The staff will be able to prepared Dad for church by getting him dressed and fed on Sunday mornings, having shaved him and trimmed his beard earlier in the week, leaving Mom to just pick him up on her way in and take him with her to church. If there is ever a time when he is unable to get out and make the transition back in, there are church services on-site, with a rotating flavor of delivery.

The fact that it's such a small community means that the residents become like family, which is what we've heard from others with family members in memory care facilities. We are allowed to visit whenever and the grandkids are also allowed to come. We can join Dad for lunch or dinner for a very small fee as long as we give them a bit of a notice to plan for the extra portions.

Mom filled out the form for the waiting list and should either fax it tomorrow or has already faxed it today. She needed Cheryl's signature as Dad's power of attorney. We're still hoping and praying for the VA to come through with some benefits for Dad that would help offset the cost of the place, but we have more reason to hope for that sort of assistance than we ever did before. Otherwise, I'm not sure it's within our means to pay for the high cost of that kind of care, whether it's time for him to receive it or not.

Which serves as a poignant reminder for me as to why I took this high school job. No matter what else, I must plan for a future that might include long term care in an assisted living facililty. I can't leave my family struggling to pull the funds together because I was too negligent to think ahead. If I'm a little freaked out and hyper-tensive because of more to worry about, then so be it. Benefits are important for my family, and not just for me. I won't leave Mara, who is an only child, without resources to help her if the need arises.

Mom did well today. She said she spent Monday of last week crying and has cried herself out for now. She dealt with this decision then, so it wasn't hard for her to accept this place. After our tour, she remarked that this was not at all what she imagined when she thought of putting Dad in a nursing home. Of course, that's one of the nice differences between a nursing home and assisted living, but also it goes to show how health care has come along in regards to preserving humanity and dignity in the last years of life. I think Mom is relieved and we all seem to think Dad will deal with this much more easily than if the place had been otherwise.

Doctor's Appointment

Rick saw Dr. Pearce yesterday. There was a definite change in his ability to follow Dr Pearce’s instructions throughout the exam.

He didn't do well with Dr Pearce’s eye exams where you follow the pencil with your eyes. He couldn’t seem to remember to follow it. He couldn’t tell how many fingers he holds up. He got fixated on the number 5 and that is what he said, no matter how many fingers were up. He had trouble closing his eyes when Dr. Pearce asked him to. He couldn't add 5+5 or subtract 100-10. He didn't know how many children he had, or grandchildren. Of course, he had no idea about current events. But then, I don't know that either. We haven't watched the news in a long time. He did read well for Dr. Pearce. He read a hymn and read one line at a time without following the verse down to the end. Later, while waiting for the rain to let up so we could go to the car, he told me, “I’m trying hard to let Dr. Pearce… and you, know that I can do....” He never got out what he could do.

Last night at the supper table he talked a long time. He was talking about going to Puerto Rico. He said the tents were all set up and it was ripe. He asked me over and over if I would go with him. I told him that when God worked out all the details that I would be happy to go with him. He was very excited about that. He seemed to be at peace. When Cheryl and Jeremy and Emma got her for supper, Rick went into the living room and sat down in his chair and slept. The TV was on but he didn’t watch much of it. I think I am seeing a pattern that Rick is better when everything is calm and peaceful - no noise or commotion. I need to remember that.

I took him to bed last night about 10:30. He went right to bed without any trouble and slept most of the night. He was awake this morning about 5 am and needed to go to the bathroom. I ended up giving him some more Xanax and he went right back to sleep with very little restlessness. I was glad. Maybe we are on the right track with his medicines. He is completely off the Namenda and Aricept now. He will take his last Navane on Sunday morning. Dr Pearce gave me a prescription for Respirdol but I think I will wait a little bit to see how he does without any med before I start him on it. If last night was an indicator, maybe he will do better without med. We will just have to wait and see.

How Firm A Foundation

This morning Rick was completely different. He was very loving and everything went smoothly. He did wake me up this morning standing by my side of the bed. When I got him to get back in the bed, he couldn't lay still. He was shaky and fidgety. I kept trying to get him to relax, to no avail.

We got up and got dressed and ate without difficulty. I had given him Xanax when we first got up. I determined not to push him to do anything. But then I have to encourage him to swallow his pills. But that all went well.

I got out our devotional book and read today's lesson and then read Psalms 91 to him. A couple of the verses stood out to me this morning. Vs 3: "3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. 4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler" And then vs 14 " 14Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. 15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. "

Then Rick started humming the tune to a hymn, How Firm a Foundation. I got the hymnal out and looked up the words and sang them. They really spoke to me. It was as if God brought it to me through Rick. It meant so much to me that I am putting the words here.

How Firm A Foundation

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
To you, who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

"Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, I will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.

"When thro' the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trials to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

"When thro' fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flames shall not hurt thee, I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine."

THANK YOU, LORD, FOR YOUR WORD TO ME!

Dad's decisions

Tonight, Cade and Jeremy were mowing the lawn at Mom and Dad's house, the girls played in the pool, and I talked with Dad. He was fretting about a big decision between two options (alternatively called two applications), but he was never able to tell me what the options were. He was very upset about not being able to make a decision, worried about making the wrong decision, and so forth.

At one point, he asked me how long I've been in. I asked if he meant just tonight, and he said in general. I said for a while. I asked if he knew me and my name and he said he thought so, but he couldn't tell me, so I told him. He seems a bit surprised that I was Tamara, his daughter. Just a bit after that, Cade walked through the room. He said, "that's who was on her mind." I said, "You know who that is? That's Cade?" And he nodded. I said, "And you know he goes with me," (b/c he had been pointing back and forth between us), and he nodded. I said, "see, you did well. You remembered Cade."And Dad seemed very proud of his accomplishment.

Later he told me about being in function and out of function and said he knows the difference. He said, "When I'm in function, I'm able to do. When I'm out of function, I'm just..." I asked if he was in function then and he said he was. I asked if he knew the difference and he said he believes so. I hope that's not the truth. Being able to know and recognize that you're breaking with reality, but not able to stop that break, or mend it, would be awful.

After at least an hour (probably longer) of this back and forth worry about a decision, we went for a second walk, which didn't actually go any further than the drive way. I said, "Dad, do you want to hear my take on it? I know you're worried about these choices you have to make, and you don't even really know what your choices are." (He agreed with me.) "Well, you don't have to worry anymore because there is no big decision to make. All these things get decided for you now. You don't have to be the one to decide. All you have to do is keep on with what you're doing and these steps will be ordered for you, one day at a time."

I just love to see his face relax when he decides to let some worry go. He said, "You know what? You're a big help to me. I feel so much better! So let me get this right, if I make a decision, and you make it for me, then I don't have to make the decision because it's already been made."

I reiterated that he doesn't have to make any decision at all, except to just take it one day at a time and keep doing what he's doing. We went back inside and shared with the others and his face was just so content and the exact opposite of his worrying all evening long.

Funny, though, that his worries about big decisions come up at just the time when we are also worried about making big decision on his behalf. I didn't lie, you know, when I said these things would be decided for him. He just didn't know what I meant.

Last night Rick didn't want to get into the car with me to come home from church. After we finally got him in the car and on the way home he said, “I don't want to go home.” (Reminds me of my grandchildren who never want to go home either. :o) I think he thought we were going to go out to eat with Jay and Della, a couple from our church who are going to Belize as missionaries. Della did say to me to call them some time during the week and we would go to supper. I think he thought it was for last night.

When we got home he was very agitated. I had to do something for work when I got home. I was at my desk and on the phone maybe 5-10 minutes. When I got that done, I went looking for him. He was outside the fence. I don't know how he got there since I’ve pad locked the gates. He must have climbed over it. He was walking toward the road, so we walked a little bit. Kasee, our dog, came out of the fence with us, some where other than the gate. So just a little way down the road, I told Rick we needed to get Kasee back in the fence. So that helped me get him back into the house.

When we got back in the house I locked all the dead bolts. Now he can't get out of the house, unless he goes out the doors in the bedroom and office onto the front porch. I don’t think he thinks about those doors.

He was very agitated with me saying I was pushing him around. I went to work cleaning the laundry room and sweeping the garage out. He paced back and forth for a while and then finally calmed down and sat on the steps. When I was finished he came upstairs and sat on the couch. I asked him if he was ready to go to bed and he said yes. So I took him into the bedroom and after a shower he went right to bed.

He was so with it in the morning during church. He paid attention to everything Jay and Della said, talking about wanting to go too.

This morning Rick woke up in a fairly good mood. He dressed himself pretty much. I had to help him with his pants. While I was combing his hair, he started shaking his legs. I asked him what he was nervous about. He said, “I’m jittery because…” That is all he could say. We went out to eat breakfast. I decided to give him his Xanax right away to see if it would stop his anxiety. He sat down to the table without resistance. He ate most of his cereal. I gave him his pills. He took one and tried to swallow it. I thought he had swallowed it. He is getting good at faking it..

He got more and more agitated as I tried to get him to swallow his pills and finish his juice. The juice has protein in it so I felt it was important for him to finish it. It got so that every time I came near Rick he would walk away from me. If I tried to offer him some more juice he would push my hand away. Once he grabbed my wrist and walked around the kitchen, living room and dining room. Erin tried to get him to stop but he didn’t. After a short time he let go of me. He didn’t hurt me at all.

We went into the bathroom to brush our teeth. He took the tooth brush and started brushing but then walked out of the bathroom. I went to bring him back and he just pulled away from me. Erin tried to get him to come back and he wouldn’t. I finished brushing my teeth and went out to the kitchen. I got his tooth brush from him but he would spit out the tooth paste. The more I tried to get him to spit, the more he pulled away from me. Finally he did spit it out.

Then it was time to go to the Center. We decided he should sit in the back seat of Erin’s car, so that he wouldn’t try to open the door while they were riding. But he wouldn’t get in. He said, “I want to go to the church – right now!” So I said ok. We will go to the church. (Just to get him in the car.) I had to go get ready to leave the house. Then when I was ready, I said, “Are you ready to go?” He said, “I’m not going anywhere with you.” We went down to the cars and I gave him a choice which car he wanted to ride in and he chose mine. Erin decided to follow me to the Center.

Rick rode quietly in the car and didn’t try to open the door, for which I was thankful. He did say to me, “Your hijacking me!” I said, “No I’m not. I just taking you to work.” Later he said, “I thought I could trust you.” and "I've always been claustrophobic."

When we got to the center, he got out of the car and walked right in. At the front desk they asked him, “How are you this morning ,Rick?” He said, “I’m not a happy camper!” But walked back with Debbie without resistance.

Rick is at the point where we are beginning to think about nursing homes. This is a very hard thing for me. He has been afraid of being put in a home or "put away" as he would say. I've told him that he would stay with me "till death do us part." But it looks as though that is not going to be the case. I sure didn't think it would be so soon.

I don't want to put him in a home. He likes going to church and being with the church people. He likes to sing on the praise and worship team. He likes to go places. This has been a very teary day for me. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. I'm not the crying type, but it has come very easily today.

We are looking into respite care for him while I have to be out of town in September and November. I have called Chris Pettygrew, our friend who works at the VA. He said that he was going to get me in touch with someone who would help me apply for service related disability. He gave me hope that Rick would qualify. I sure am thankful for all the people God has put in our path who are helping us with these details.

I have the opportunity to go on a cruise in November. My brother in law works for a Christian cruise company and are able to get a good deal on a "Girls Get Away". I'm so excited. I have always wanted to go on a cruise. Of course, I always wanted to do it with Rick. But this time it will be with my sister and her family and Erin. I already feel the need for this "Girl" to "Get Away."

Another Prayer

Prayer for the Acceptance of God’s Will
(By Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow, d. 1867).

O Lord, I know not what to ask of Thee. Thou alone knowest what are my true needs. Thou lovest me more than I myself know how to love. Help me to see my real needs which are concealed from me. I dare not ask either a cross or consolation. I can only wait on Thee. My whole heart is open to Thee. Visit and help me, for Thy great mercy’s sake. Strike me and heal me, cast me down and raise me up. I worship in silence Thy holy will and Thine inscrutable ways. I offer myself as a sacrifice to Thee. I put all my trust in Thee. I have no other desire than to fulfill Thy will. Teach me how to pray. Pray Thou Thyself in me. Amen


I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately, and even though I want to share my feelings on this blog, I often feel unable to express them here.

We had such a nice trip to Vermont and such a nice visit with everyone there. Dad seemed so content, and that's so important to us all at this stage. On the other hand, he had some setbacks that took us by surprise on the trip, as well, so nothing's ever really easy to decipher. But since coming home, we've had some serious events that have knocked the breath out of all of us. It started with the extreme depression Dad exhibited since returning from Vermont, as if home was just anticlimatic to being in his childhood home. Two weeks ago, Dad didn't recognize me when I picked him up from the Center. Last week, Dad walked away and was lost for around an hour. Today, Dad strong-armed Mom, which is the first time she's mentioned any physical bullying from him. She didn't resist and he didn't get any worse, so she didn't actually get hurt. Thank God!

There's just no time between these traumatic events to recover. The progress of Dad's Alzheimer's is catching all of us off guard, even when we knew that Early Onset was the fastest progressing form of the disease. All of this leads us to some very difficult decisions to make. This is a difficult time for all of us, and if any of you readers are the praying kind, we'd all appreciate your prayers. So often, I feel unable to pray and so the words of this prayer have helped me out, especially the last two lines.

New Developments

This morning, after I got Rick up and dressed and while I was dressing, Rick decided to go for a walk. I didn't know he was gone until I went out to get breakfast ready. I called him and he didn't answer. I thought he was in the living room, where he usually goes while he waits for me to get dressed and get breakfast. But he wasn't there. I checked on the porch, in the garage, in the back yard, the front yard. I called him but he didn't answer. I went up to the road to see if he had walked down the way we usually walk when we walk the neighborhood. I didn't see him. I got the car and drove around the block where we usually walk. No Rick. So I called Cheryl. She came right over. I called 911 and they sent the sheriff over. They were so kind and helpful. They had several cars looking for Rick. They said they were going to get the bloodhounds out to search for him. Erin arrived to take him to work. She went looking. I called Tamara to let her know what was happening. The police asked for a picture of Rick. I went in the house to get one, when I got a call from Cade. He said someone called. A Kathy Whitener. She said she had Rick. He gave me her number to call. What a relief. I gave the number to the sheriff and he called her and directed her to our house. She said she saw him standing on the corner of Hastings Hill Road and Sedge Garden Road (just a block from our house). She called out to him and asked him if he was Rick Coburn. He said yes. So she invited him to get into her car and he did. But she didn't know how to contact us. After several calls to mutual acquaintances, she was able to get someone at home and got Tamara's phone number. We are so thankful that she picked him up.

What an experience. Rick hasn't done this before. He hasn't ever gone anywhere without us. Needless to say, we have ordered a Safe Return bracelet for him. I have put locks on the backyard fence gates and have locked the dead bolt on the front door. Now if he goes out it will just be in the back yard and won't be able to leave the house area. I spent most of the day trying to deal with these issues. Didn't get much work done.

This evening Rick seemed to be pretty good, not anxious or jittery, until it was time to eat. I had leftover goulash, which used to be one of his favorite foods. I lead him to the table and instructed him to sit down. He didn't want to sit. I positioned him in front of the chair and tried to get him to sit down by pushing the chair into his legs. It didn't work. He fought me and kept walking away. I gave him his plate of food and he would eat a bit here and there while standing, but mostly resisted it. Cheryl and Jeremy came over and Cheryl walked with him around the yard and then took him out for a walk on the road. He seemed to be more calm when he came back in. He did sit down at the table with us and Cheryl asked him if now was a good time for him to talk to the family. He started to say things that didn't really line up. I wish I could remember his comments. Cheryl said, And do you feel that we are all against you? He said yes. Then she said, And what did we say was the reason? He couldn't remember. He said, I can't remember all the details. So she reminded him, "We said that you have Alzheimer's Disease that makes you feel like people are against you. But we aren't. He said, yes. Cheryl said, Would you like to hear everyone tell you how much they love you? He barely nodded. So Emma said, I love you Papa. He said, I love you too. I really do. Then I told him I loved him and am trying to take the best care of him I can. Then Cheryl said she loved him and that Jeremy did too. Jeremy said, Yeah, but I'm not going to kiss you. :o) Then Erin came to him and told him she loved him and kissed him. He seemed to calm down a little then.

The girls left and Rick and I turned on the TV. He did sit down and watch the TV for a short time before falling asleep. I let him sit there for a while before putting him to bed.

What a day! I feel wiped out. I am so thankful for my girls. They have helped me so much.

Tamara thinks we need to be looking into nursing homes for him. She said that I needed to be able to work and not have to worry about Rick wondering off, about getting him to eat, etc. I don't know. Rick has been so worried about me putting him some place. I don't want to think about it. But after today and yesterday, I am a little more inclined to think about it. I don't know what to do when I can't get him to eat. Or I can't get him to calm down. I just don't know what to do.

Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief!

The week after vacation

Well, I wanted to share with you what has been happening this week. the week after our time in Vermont. There is a definite change in Rick. He has been a basket case all week long.

You remember that Sunday we went to the church picnic and Rick had a great time with everyone. He laughed and joked with people and seemed to enjoy himself. We watched a movie on TV that afternoon and he laughed at it and really seemed to enjoy it too. Then Cheryl called and asked if we would like to go see a movie at the theater. So we decided to go. Superman Returns was playing at the $3 theater in Kernersville and Erin said it was a very good movie. I thought that Rick would enjoy it. But he slept through it. I guess it was just too late for him.

Monday he was doing fine until he heard me tell Erin on the phone that I was trying to get an appointment with our family doctor in the morning and then I would be taking him to the center. All of a sudden, Rick became pensive and anxious and teary. He asked why I was doing this to him. And he has been this way most of the time ever since.

Tuesday, of course was the 4th of July and we were out of work. The center was closed. And we had a parade to go to. Mara had spent the night with us and she and Emma were to ride on the Missionette's float. So we rode with Cheryl and Jeremy to take the girls to the parade starting point. Then we parked the car and found a place to watch the parade. We met a couple who we know from the center. The husband also has Alzheimer's Disease and attends the Center. The wife comes to the Friday noon support group that I go to. It was interesting to see Rick's and Gene's interaction. They knew each other and were glad to see each other. Gene can talk better than Rick. He told me that Rick had some trouble yesterday and that he was helping him out. He said he was taking care of Rick. Anyway, Rick did pretty good during the parade.

We went home and Mara and Emma both stayed with us. Cheryl and Jeremy wanted to go to Lowe's hardware store and wanted to leave Emma with us during that time. That was great and the girls had a wonderful time together. Cheryl brought Emma's inflatable pool over and they swam and played with the playhouse that had been given to us. The commotion seemed to upset Rick. He was agitated all afternoon. He didn't want to eat his lunch. I couldn't get him to sit at the table. I tried to feed him and he resisted that. He was not a happy camper.

After a while, Tamara and Cade came over so that Cade could mow the yard. Thank you, Cade for your help with the yard. It is a real blessing. Tamara tried to talk to Rick. She spent most of the afternoon talking to him and listening to him, trying to get him to calm down. Nothing seemed to help.

We went with Cheryl and Jeremy to the Kernersville fireworks show. We stopped at Subway to get sandwiches to eat there while waiting for the right time. Well, God decided to show his fireworks first. We could see the clouds coming in and then the lightening became very stark. So we packed up and went back to the van. Jeremy put the back seats down and we sat on the back of the van with the back door as a roof for us. The rain came down hard and the wind blew it under the door. So we all climbed into the back of the van and shut the door. We sat there for a while and then Rick started getting restless. He got more and more restless. I guess he got claustrophobic. He was glad when the rain stopped and he could get out. They did go ahead with the fireworks about 40 minutes late. But it started raining again and they hurried them up. We left and came home.

Rick was still agitated and I had a hard time getting him to go to bed. He would get in but before I could get around to my side he was back up again. It took me a long time to be able to get him in the bed and stay there. It wasn't until I was actually able to get in the bed too, that he went to sleep.

Wednesday morning he was still agitated. Erin said he cried off and on all the way to the Center. The nurse at the Center said he was ok after he got there, but he did have a spell around lunch. He is not eating well any more. We went to church Wednesday night and he did well there.

Thursday, we went to the family doctor to have him checked out about the blood we saw from his kidneys. She took another urine specimen and it was still negative. She also did some blood work. The report came back negative on that too. I think he should be having an appointment with the VA urologist soon.

When Tamara went to pick him up from the Center, he didn't recognize her. She asked him if he was going with her and he looked at her quizzically and said, "With you?" He just didn't seem to place her at all. When he got home he seemed to be better but we quizzed him and he couldn't come up with any definite answer. This was very upsetting to Tamara. It was the first time he didn't recognize one of us.

Thursday and Friday nights he didn't sleep all night. He woke up to go to the bathroom and then couldn't settle down to go back to sleep. He would get in the bed, shake and moan, get up and pull on the sheets, pace back and forth in the room, and then get back in the bed again. This lasted 1-2 hours. Very hard for me to get a good nights sleep.

Friday afternoon Tamara and I went to support group and then had a meeting with the director of the Center. She has worked with Alzheimer's patients for many years and has a wealth of knowledge. We asked what the next steps were, how long they would be able to keep Rick at the center, and other questions. She said that as long as we can keep him at home they can keep him at the center. She gave us a list of nursing facilities that have Alzheimer's units and told us which ones were the best ones to think about. She also told us that she thinks Rick's agitation is due to his medications. She said that she has seen side effects from being on the Alzheimer's medications too long. Rick has been on his for 3 years. So she recommended that we talk with Dr. Pearce about getting him off of them. Also she suggested that we get him on a happy pill. So I called Dr. Pearce right away to get his take on these suggestions. He agreed that we stop the Alzheimer's medications and gave me a plan for that. I started right away. I am sure hoping that things will get better soon. He also has prescribed an antipsychotic medication that we are starting at the lowest dose. So we will see. At least I feel that we are being proactive about his care.

Friday night friends of ours from church, George and Candi, took Rick to their house for the evening and Tamara and I went shopping and out to eat. It was a good time for me. I really enjoyed it. George said Rick did well for them.

Saturday was my family's gathering at Fairystone State Park in VA. This has been a tradition for several years now. It started out being on Father's Day weekend to honor my dad. But this year we couldn't seem to get everyone together on Father's Day weekend so we moved it to July. It was such a beautiful day. We really had a good time. He went in the water once with me and swam a little bit. He only dog paddles now. He doesn't seem to remember the right strokes any more. He started to swim out toward the dock but I didn't let him go that way. I was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to swim that far. I mentioned that to my sisters and Rick heard it. He didn't like it that I said he couldn't do it. After a while he got up and walked back into the lake by himself. I let him go a little bit and then followed him. He walked out to the rope that divided the shallow from the deep and then turned around and came back. I had to direct him to the right place. He had no sense of where we all were. After a while, Rick got anxious again and agitated. He tried to talk to my dad and aunt. They listened and tried to sympathize with him. Aunt Phyllis walked with him a couple of times. Everyone was very understanding and tried to help Rick as much as they could. Once Rick got up and stood in the middle of the group and tried to tell everyone how much he liked our family and then apologized for something. My brother in law, Darrell, stopped him by saying, "You know Rick that we all love you and respect you." Rick said, "Thank you, Thank you." My sister, Cindy, got up and hugged him and said that she loved him. Again he said, "Thank you." I think that was so good for him. I think he is aware enough to know that he isn't responding right and he is trying to apologize for it.

Today, Rick did well at church. He did get restless during the service. I ended taking him out to go to the bathroom. Then he was a little bit better. We came home and sat down in the living room to watch some TV. Rick went to sleep pretty quick in his chair. I dosed some too. I woke up to Rick wandering around the house and coming to stand by the couch where I was sleeping. He said, "I was wondering if you would be willing to help me?" Of course, I asked, "Help you with what?" He never could tell me what. He kept making statements through out the afternoon that didn't make any sense. I couldn't seem to figure out what he was thinking about. Once he said, "I think you have made the right decision." I don't know what decision he was talking about.

After we came home from evening church, he was restless. I took him to the bathroom and when he had finished I asked him if he felt better. He said, "Yes, but I'm still restless. I'm sorry." We took a walk with Kasee, our dog, and Erin. This seemed to calm him down. He is asleep right now. I hope he will stay asleep all night. I guess I will go join him now.

Thanks again for all your prayers. They are felt and greatly appreciated.

Sunday afternoon we crashed the church picnic. Rick was very animated and was joking and laughing with everyone. It was great to see him so happy. This couple, Kathrine and Stanley Glover, (with their granddaughter, Katie) remember Rick speaking to the general assembly of the Church of God of Prophecy after he came home from Viet Nam. That was probably in 1968 or 69.  

Opps! Missed this picture. Here is Cheryl, Jake (in utero) Emma, Bev and Casey. Tamara hiding behind Bev. 

Rick is sitting on Bev's back porch talking to Evelyn (you can only see a small portion of her) with Mara and Emma in the background. Just wanted you to see the nice view. 

Emma is watching at a safe distance 

Mara is now shutting the gate. 

Mara is very proud of herself because she figured out to open the gate all by herself. No one told her to do it and then Aunt Bev praised her for her initiative.  

Mara is opening the gate for Aunt Bev to take Casey back in.  

Casey is cleaning up the pellets that the girls dropped. Notice Rick in the background, seemingly not interested in the pony at all. Strange! 

Emma feeding Casey out of her hand. It almost looks like Casey is going to take her whole hand. :o) 

Mara feeding Casey out of her hand. 

Mara, Bev and Tamara. And, oh yeah, don't forget Casey. 

Mara got a second ride, because she wasn't nervous at all. 

Emma didn't have as long a ride because she was a little nervous. 

Now it is Emma's turn 

They went out of site down the Coburn Road. 

Mara got the first ride.  

Emma getting her brush on her hand to brush Casey. 

Pony ride time. Cheryl, Rick, Mara, and Emma waiting for Bev to bring out Casey. 

Emma going down the slide 

Rick and Rob 

Emma on the big slide in the back yard 

Erin with Mara 

Tamara giving her dad a ride.  

One of the fun things the girls got to do was go 4 wheeling. One is Bev's and the other is Wayne's. Rob got them going for us to enjoy. 

Left: Bev. Right: Cheryl and Mara. Tamara going to get Mara.